Archive for the ‘clueless’ Category

Mommy Wants Vodka

I am here today taking a few questions posed by Aunt Becky of mommy wants vodka. She is one of my favourite bloggers because not only does her writing make a girl want to wet herself from laughing but she reads and comments on so many other folks blogs it isn’t even human. Plus she adores Canucks and that is reason enough for me to deify her in my opinion. Ok on that note here are the answers to her questionnaire.

Open Your Whore Mouth.

1) Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? No I only like butterscotch sauce.

2) If you had to choose one word to banish from the English language, what would it be and why? weapons of mass destruction ; bullshit and chaos are the reason.

3) If you were a flavor, what would it be? popcorn

4) What’s the most pointless annoying chore you can think of that you do on a daily/weekly basis? plucking chin hairs

5) Of all the nicknames I’ve ever had in my life, Aunt Becky is the most widely known and probably my favorite. What’s your favorite nickname? (for yourself) dordie

6) You’re stuck on a desert island with the collective works of 5 (and only five) musical artists for the rest of your life. Who are they? 1. The Beatles 2. B.B. King, 3. Santana 4. Elton John 5. Ella Fitzgerald

7) Everything is better with bacon. True or false? True

8 ) If I could go back in time and tell Young Aunt Becky one thing, it would be that out of chaos, order will emerge. Also: tutus go with everything. What would you tell young self? Don’t worry about your tiny feet go-go boots won’t always be in fashion.

Is it just me or has the whole of female humanity just been a tiny bit more emotional lately. Me thinks there is a giant cloud of estrogen hovering over the North American continent. I can’t believe Nia Vardalos and Richard Dreyfuss actually made me weep the other night, but it’s true. I would make a lousy film critic right now because I gave it (My Life in Ruins) 5 blubbering thumbs up. Don’t even think about showing me one of those long distance telephone ads I would be a snotty mess. Men are running scared because one minute I’m crying the next I’m yelling. I may need to hone my crime scene cleanup skills. You’ll see me at the video store tonight weeping and walking up to the counter with the last copy of Sunshine Cleaning. I call it an educational film.
Hurry Aunt Becky I need to be pacified !


Most of the folks on Facebook are getting annoyed with all of the suggestions that the robots or drones over there are making. People that you might know because 14 of your friends know them, people who don’t have enough friends so I can help them find some? Since when did Facebook think I should be some sort of internet matchmaker. Haven’t they heard, Eharmony is doing a “fine job” of that without my suggestions.
What really gets to me is when they actually have the audacity to suggest to me that I reconnect with my husband. I hope they aren’t watching me on the webcam that we have here on the computer desk in my bedroom. Perhaps we aren’t getting it on quite enough. They would know THEY are watching.

Update: Now that I am mocking Faceboook about my sexual exploits they are putting ads for Tantric Sex workshops on my sidebar. Intersting and creepy all at once. Do you suppose Sting and Trudy will be the instructors. Hope there is no demo or hands on approach…

This is it my initial post the one that I have been anticipating for all of these months that I have been lurking on everyone else’s blogs. Right now I feel like the foreign kid sitting in a class wondering what the flack the teacher is saying. I will learn more about the mechanics of blogging or get drunk trying. Maybe I shall wander up to the local liquor store right now or possibly go get a “for dummies” book on how to make this a cool blog that lots of the folks out there will want to read every week as much as I look forward to reading theirs.


What I said before

what I been tweetin’

Aunt Becky’s Cruise, Yo