A year ago
Posted August 18, 2010on:
This is one wild ride that I have been on the last year. Exactly one year ago I decided promptly at 8:30 am that I had just become a former smoker. I had been mulling the idea over for some time and had come to the conclusion that I was no longer happy being an addict to the tobacco monster.
Just like that I extinguished the cigarette unceremoniously leaving behind an ugly reminder of the past. I had some holidays to be able to let the emotional baggage go without fear of repercussions from employers. Despite the fact that I work in the health care field and they are always encouraging and challenging us to not smoke, I doubted they would be ready for my expletive ridden tirades at that particular point in time. I told myself that it is OK to feel irritable ( I called it stabby for humor sake)
These are only my opinions, but other than my new found sense of smell that got turned off by the reeking ashtrays and stale smell in the house I felt I was coping pretty well. Suffice it to say I was considered a bit a a crank and the family and friends were gracious enough to tolerate me.
That is how the first few days went euphoria mixed with confusion and a little bit of anxiety. My worst fear is that it would make the bond with my husband weaken as I had “left the gang” so to speak, become an outsider, possibly a converter/zealot. I have always done my darndest not to lecture anyone regarding my choice. The fact remains I did this for ME and nobody else. All I could hope for was someone seeing that I could do it therefore they could too. I have lent out my Alan Carr book to several people but have not try to coach or advise anyone. It is a personal journey and after all I took it without guidance or urging so it behooves me to guide myself accordingly.
This year I will put aside all of the money that I didn’t spend on smoking and do something wonderful with it. Travel comes to mind as does an educational pursuit. I’ll have to see where this journey takes me. For now I am going to remain focused on being a good role model and to take the steps to getting my physical self into shape as I look down the road to my 50th birthday.
PS Not that I am a fame whore but one of the people who inspired me in my quitting among other not so well known former smokers was Anthony Bourdain. I did a shout out of thanks on Twitter this morning to his wife @OttaviaBourdain and thanked him through her for helping me. She stated great to hear that ! Congrats ! Just a little icing and hope it makes them feel good too. Every quitter deserves to be inspirational.